The Martian – I was told there would be no math

Posted: October 26, 2014 in 2 Star Reviews, Fiction, Sci-Fi
Tags: , , , , , ,


2 of 5 Makes-My-Head-Hurt Stars – The Martian by Andy Weir.

If you like science and math, you will probably love this fucking book. This is part of the reason that I couldn’t stand reading it. So much math, and science and, oh noes, I’m never gonna survive this. But wait, what if I bla bla bla…

I knew just from the description of this book that I definitely couldn’t read it, because it was just one guy’s journey, trying to survive on mars. Where’s the drama? The comedy? The relationships… There are none. It’s just this guy, and his stupid plants. It’s Castaway in space. So, it didn’t interest me as something to read, but I thought I would try the audio book, which some said was even better than the book.

It’s not. The story is the same boring math and science as the book. I mean, I thought it would turn out to be a thrilling adventure story, but it’s not. It’s just this guy stuck on mars. Who gives a fuck? I certainly don’t. I couldn’t even finish the audio book, because it was just this guy, whining like a little bitch, about how he’s completely fucked.

So, I read the stupid thing, instead. Because I like torturing myself, okay? It’s like nipple clamps, this fucking book. But it’s nipple clamps on my brain. There’s this white-hot pain, right behind my forehead. I can’t quite explain it, because I think I may be having a seizure. That’s what happens when I try to do math. I fucking hate math. And, I fucking hate this stupid book.

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  1. ajoobacats says:

    I haven’t put this on my to be read list as its getting quite a few thumbs down from reviewers I trust. Sounds like a claustrophobic read but add in maths and it sounds like a nightmare.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Daniel Waltz says:

    “Itโ€™s Castaway in space.” – What a great log line haha.

    Like Alien, when it was pitched to studio heads the log line was “It’s Jaws in space.”

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Daniel Waltz says:

    But apparently not as good as Alien.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. gegrizzle says:

    No, not near as good. No monsters or anything, just the environment. Big fucking deal. I can’t believe they’re turning this book into a movie. It pisses me off so much. ๐Ÿ˜›


  5. rick says:

    I am so bummed you didn’t like this. I actually named it on my Best of Realistic/speculative Fiction because the science is so tight that it isn’t really science fiction. I definitely am a broad spectrum geek/nerd and really get into the science, but want to clarify that while the character does math, chemistry, botany, etc the reader doesn’t have to. And there definitely are other characters and dialogue which opens this world up a lot more than Castaway. Now I’m just lobbying outright for nerdy geeks who read your blog to give this a chance. I gave it 5 out of 5 nerdy as actual stars stars.

    Liked by 1 person

    • gegrizzle says:

      I agree that it’s not actually science fiction. It’s very well written, and factual. As I said in the review, I’m sure people who love science would fucking love this book. I fucking hate science, which is why I couldn’t stand it. But it’s still Castaway in space. ๐Ÿ˜›


  6. bairdy1985 says:

    Someone on Goodreads recommend I read this book… maybe i should remove them as a friend? ha

    Liked by 1 person

  7. bairdy1985 says:

    Reblogged this on David's Book Blurg and commented:
    I was tempted by this book but maybe i’ll pass. I don’t like books that make my head hurt..


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