Beneath The Surface Lies – needs moar dick

Posted: November 5, 2014 in 1 Star Reviews, Fiction
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1 of 5 Dreadful Stars – Beneath The Surface Lies by Colin Hudson.

I don’t like romance novels. In fact, I hate them with a passion. But, when the author of this book emailed me a copy, he didn’t include a description. So, my poor, unassuming brain was thrust upon this abomination, without warning.

That being said, this book is a complete fucking waste of time. It’s some bullshit tropical romance novel. This couple goes scuba diving, only to find a corpse of someone they just met at their hotel the day before. Oh noes! That’s totally gonna ruin their beautiful vacation.

The story is poorly written. It’s shallow and pointless. The characters are as cardboard as they come. And, for a romance novel, there isn’t even any graphic sex scenes. What the fuck, man? Come on, now. That’s all people read this shit for.

It pisses me off that I spent a couple house reading this. I want my time back, goddamnit. I mean, my brain actually hurts, after reading this shit. I think I may have killed some brain cells with this one. And I have so few brain cells as it is, losing just one can be catastrophic.

So fuck Colin Hodson in his dirty hack asshole for writing this worthless excuse for a romance novel. Because I couldn’t even jack off to this garbage. Trust me, I tried.

I received a free Advance Reader Copy of this book for an honest review. The book has not been published yet.

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