The Scene – is chock-full of sluts

Posted: November 6, 2014 in 3 Star Reviews, Fiction
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3 of 5 Girly-Slut Stars – The Scene by R.M. Gilmore.

This book was quite a fun read. A joyful romp with a chubby journalist girl and her hot, nearly bi-sexual girlfriend. Chubby is out for the scoop of a lifetime. Vampires are killing prostitutes in L.A., and this frisky Scooby-Doo duo are the only ones who can solve the case!
This book reminds me a lot of One for the Money, in it’s tone and pace. The witty banter, and crazy girl antics are fun to read. But, it’s a bit shallow.I mean, of course it’s shallow. It’s not really meant to be anything else, is it? It’s just written to be a fun book. No extra thinking required, right?
Unlike Janet Evanovich’s books, the characters in this book are even more empty. I mean, why is Chubby such a bitch? She’s not written like she’s had a rough life. Nobody really treats her like a fat girl. Guys even flirt with her. So, why’s she such a bitch?
Her friend Tatum is a slut, I get that. The world needs sluts, and they don’t need to be any deeper than they are. Sluts are cardboard characters. But, it would have been a more interesting story if she wasn’t really a slut. Like, maybe she had a reason for what she was doing. Maybe she had daddy issues, who the fuck knows. But, goddamnit, in a book as long as this one is, 300 some pages, I really want more depth from a story.

And this story doesn’t even merit 300 pages. It’s a short story at best. Maybe 20 pages or so. I found myself going, goddamnit man, get to the good stuff already. Find the bad guys, have a shoot out, do something to make me actually care about this stupid story.

I mean, so vampires are killing whores. So-fucking-what. Who the fuck cares? Why is this even a story? They keep toying with the idea that: no, vampires aren’t real. It’s not really vampires, it’s probably some losers that are just playing with the whole vampire lifestyle. Sucking blood, and all that bullshit. But, again, who the fuck cares?

It’s just not a very interesting story. The only reason to read this book, is because you love the witty banter between these two Scooby-Doo girls. And, I’ll grant you that it’s still a fun book to read. The problem is, the villain in the story isn’t revealed until the very end. So, at no time is the reader going: Yea! Get that fucker. Just shoot him in the face! Because, there’s no fucker to shoot at until the very end.

So, there’s just nothing to cheer for. Nothing in the story gives the reader a reason to give a fuck. It just drags us on with endless girly talk and wanna-be detective meandering. I don’t fucking care. Give me a goddamn villain to hate. Give me a fucking good reason to keep reading, to see that justice is done.

Or just shut up and suck some cock you stupid fat whore. Because at least I would care about the ending. At least I would want to know: did he shoot it all over her face? Get it in her hair? Oh damn, he got it in her eye! Nice. See, even sucking cock has a better plot than this goddamn book.

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