The Yoga Sutras – has little to do with yoga

Posted: December 19, 2014 in 4 Star Reviews, Fiction
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4 of 5 Psychotic Stars – The Yoga Sutras by Jackson Radcliffe.

This book is fascinating, in the weirdest ways. It’s like an atheist transgender priest is giving a sermon on the meaning of life, and how one can attain enlightenment. Or something. That’s how much sense this book doesn’t make. And at the same time, it makes perfect sense.

It’s the subtle journey of one man’s descent into madness. His beautiful wife suggests he take a Yoga class, to help him deal with his many issues. He takes the Yoga class, because he’s incapable of saying no to his wife. Hell, he’s incapable of saying no to anyone, really.

He’s really just a pathetic loser, trying to make sense of his fucked up life. His wife hates him. His daughter hates him. His goldfish hate him. His SatNAV definitely hates him. And, he’s pretty sure that his wife is, in fact, the devil.

Poor Dave gets so distraught that women rule his life, that he starts to think about becoming one himself. He reads up about it, how the penis can actually be turned into a vagina, and all that good stuff. He goes online, and chats up some transgender freaks who politely tell him to “Fuck off!”

Just as I was sure that this poor sap was about to take a hatchet to lop off his dick, he comes back to his senses, and is again sure that his wife must be killed, because she is, in fact, the devil. But, he can’t think of a good way to kill her. So he asks his SatNAV, as you do. The navigation system in his car proceeds to break down the many ways he could kill his wife. Most of which involved motor vehicles.

Then Dave comes to his senses again, and decides just to poison her instead of running her over with the Jag, or shoving her off a cliff, or choking her to death. Mostly because his SatNAV told him he was too much of a pussy to pull it off.

Needless to say, this book was fucking hilarious. It actually had me laughing out loud. If I had any weed or LSD, I’d totally read this book while on that shit. It’d be a mad trip, for sure.

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Comments
  1. Paul J. Stam says:

    Damn, but for someone who hates books, you sure make me want to read this one. – Oh well – and Aloha – pjs/

    Liked by 1 person

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