The Divorce and Doom of Simon Pastor – is so depressing

Posted: January 5, 2015 in 2 Star Reviews, Fiction
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2 of 5 Depressing-As-Fuck Stars – The Divorce and Doom of Simon Pastor by Pete Deakon.

I read books to escape reality, as I’m sure most people do. With this book, there was no escaping it. It was too real. Too close to home for many divorced people, I’m sure. I wouldn’t know, because I’m happily married. I’ve never been divorced, so maybe that’s why I don’t get this book.

I say BULLSHIT! It has nothing at all to do with the fact that I’m a happily married man. It has to do with the fact that this story isn’t worth reading. It’s the story of Simon Pastor, who is wholly unremarkable. He goes to college, he gets married, he gets a job, he has kids, he gets divorced… Who the fuck cares?

This is what happens in real life, for fuck’s sake. Why the bloody hell would I want to read about it? Why would anyone want to read about it? If you’ve been divorced, you’ve already lived the life in this book. Your wife’s a lying, cheating whore, and your kids despise you. Big fucking deal. We’ve all been there. That’s life.

That being said, the book was well written. The only part of the actual writing that really pissed me off, is 20 motherfucking pages of text messages between Simon Pastor and his whore wife. Really? You had to go on and on for 20 goddamn pages? Like three fucking chapters are all just bullshit text messages. It annoyed me to no end.

I just had a hard time giving a fuck about this book. The story is just too much of a standard tale. No surprises whatsoever. I kept expecting there to be murder and mayhem. Maybe Simon Pastor got so pissed off at his whore wife that he went off and banged a bunch of whores. Or maybe he killed his wife and kid. Or hell, set their house on fire while they were sleeping. I don’t fucking know. None of that shit happened. It’s too bad, because that would have been a book worth reading.

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  1. Oh my. Deakon is a recent follower of mine and I hadn’t yet had the time to check out his book. I would have to agree that a contemporary story of a normal life might not be something worth reading. Especially if it’s depressing like you say. That’s nothing I need on my plate, hahaha. Thank you for sharing.


  2. gegrizzle says:

    It really is way to close to normal every-day life. It’s definitely depressing, as real life can be sometimes.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. […] stumbled upon Glenn Hates Books while preparing to market Simon Pastor. If you don’t have time to visit his blog, know that […]

    Liked by 2 people

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