The Last Superhero – isn’t super at all

3 of 5 Stupid Cunt Stars – The Last Superhero by Astrid Cruz.

While reading this, I wanted to punch the stupid fucking cunt of a narrator in the face so many times. She’s such a whiney little bitch. I mean, in the very first chapter, some guy walks into her bookstore and she just swears at him under her breath. Asshole. Fucking jerkoff. Get the fuck out of my store…

And then, of course, she falls in love with him. Because he’s the most interesting man in the universe. The last so-called superhero. But this isn’t the story of the last superhero. Because there’s really nothing heroic about him.

This is the story of romance, between a twenty-something stupid cunt, and a 100+ year old washed-up has-been superhero. I don’t understand it, because when she first sees him, wandering through her bookstore, not only is she silently swearing at him, she also mentions in the narrative how old and homely he looks. So where’s the attraction? I don’t fucking get it.

After what seems like forever, they finally do fuck. And it’s oh so amazing, of course. He’s so dreamy, because he’s controlling her fucking mind. He gives her fantasies inside her head that are more vivid than any virtual reality. And when they’re fucking, she’s not even aware of it. But that soon changes…

Because then the story becomes fucking bullshit Inception. See, when this so-called superhero falls asleep, his nightmares come to life, and drag this stupid cunt into them. And in those nightmares, it’s all out superhero war, like back in the good old days, when there really were villains to fight.

Later in the story, it becomes full on Matrix-Inception. Where a group of people have to jack into superfreak’s mind, in order to save him from all the super villains in his head. Yes, I know. Stupid as fuck, right?

I don’t understand why the fuck the author decided to go the Inception route. Why have the nightmares at all? Why not just be some kind of Hancock tale? You know, where the washed-up hero has to make amends for his past, and ends up fighting evil in the real world once again.

I could get behind a story like that. It’d be awesome. Hell, maybe another super villain will come out of retirement and wreck some havoc. Destroy a city or two. Why’d the whole story have to be in this fucker’s head? There was just no reason for it. Well, other than the author just being a lazy cunt.

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