When The Circus Came To Town – it sucked

Posted: March 23, 2015 in 2 Star Reviews, Fiction, Horror
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

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2 of 5 Boring-As-Fuck Stars – When The Circus Came To Town by Deborah McClatchey.

This book is not very good. I mean, it’s a horror story, and it bored me to tears. I just couldn’t give a fuck about the characters in this story. I wanted them dead. I wanted to see them torn to pieces, and eaten alive.

Perhaps it’s because I like real horror, not subtle horror. This book is more like Stephen King horror, which to some may be a compliment, but to me, it’s an insult. Because I fucking hate Stephen King books. His early work was good, but after a few stories, he just got soft.

This book is soft from the start. It took quite a long time for anything to happen in this fucking story. I mean seriously, you can skip about half of it and not miss a goddamn thing. Most of this story is just bullshit about kids going to the fucking circus. All the stupid attractions and such.

I don’t give a fuck about the attractions. I don’t care about the goddamn lizard man, or the bearded lady. I care about whoever might be killing people. That’s the only thing that kept me interested at all. Then, when I found out who the killer was… Oh noes! Run for your life. Please. Bor-ing.

One thing that really cracked me up about this story is the fact that there were at least 4 flat tires. Try to remember the last time you got a flat tire. I can’t. But everyone in this fucking story gets a flat tire. Not because someone punctured it, but just because that shit apparently happens. All the fucking time.

And the killer wasn’t even scary. I mean every time he showed up and people screamed, I had to laugh. It’s just bloody ridiculous. Sure, if it was a scary clown, like it shows on the cover of this book, I’d run for the hills. But it’s not. It’s not anything to run from. It’s something you laugh at, and kick in the head.

In the end, it was a typical horror movie. The monster got killed, and buried. Then, he rose from the grave, as all monsters do. Because monsters can’t be killed. They can only be stalled. I don’t know why people bury monsters. Put ’em through a motherfucking wood chipper, for fuck’s sake. And be done with it.

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