The Harem – is a whore cult

Posted: May 15, 2015 in 2 Star Reviews, Fiction
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

0ha

2 of 5 Happy-Whore Stars – The Harem by Thomas Sweeney.

This book really disappointed me. The author took a great premise and totally skull-fucked it. I mean, why does The Harem need to be a fucking cult? Why can’t it just be about a bunch of filthy whores? Everyone loves filthy whores. You don’t need to make ’em shiny. You don’t need flowers and champagne. All you need is hot ass.

This story is an attempt to make prostitution look like the most glamorous and exciting profession. It’s about a woman who takes an internship at a large corporation. And apparently, she’s special, because she gets offered an opportunity to enter the Program. You know, the Slut Program.

But Susan is no floozey. She takes offense at the mere suggestion of becoming a whore. I mean, who wouldn’t? Even if the position within the Program would set her up for life financially, it’s still selling your body for cash. Even if it’s a million dollars, which it actually is, it’s still sucking dick for money. Even if it means getting eaten out by the most handsome man, and cumming like a fucking race horse, it’s still… Oh fuck it. She’ll totally do it.

I don’t get this bit. She’s so against the idea, and yet a page later she accepts it, and joins the program. I guess all women are whores, when it comes down to it. Is that what this author is trying to say? I mean, he does make the whole proposition very attractive. I’d join the Program in a fucking heart beat. But I’m a guy. All guys are whores. But women? I don’t know, man.

I just expected more of a process for Susan to accept this new position in the Program. I expected her to really wrestle with the idea. Maybe take a bit of convincing. But no. It’s just “Okay, sure. Sign me up. Even though I just called you a fucking cunt for suggesting the idea a page ago.” What the fuck, man?

Then there’s the whole cult thing. The ceremony of becoming part of the Program. Part of the Harem. But why is there a fucking ceremony, man? Just fuck the bitch, and be done with it. Why do you have to eat her out and make her cum over and over? You’re paying her millions to be part of your harem, so why the bloody fuck do you have to pamper the fuck out of her? I don’t get it.

Maybe it’s because this book was written for women. I mean, it has to be, right? What man would want to read this garbage? After the ceremony, Susan is given a new name. It’s ‘Wednesday’. Like she’s the fuck-girl for every Wednesday, or something. I thought that was kind of cool. But the rest of the harem are also named for days of the week. And they just accept this with no resistance. Yes, I’m Robert’s whore for Wednesday. No problem.

But they’re not just whores. They also work his international business. And this is funny, because when Robert introduces his play things to business associates, he introduces them by the name he’s given them. “Hi, George, this is Wednesday.” That’s a bit strange, isn’t it? Then he introduces the rest of them, each as a different name of the week. I get using those names in private, but in public, it doesn’t make any fucking sense.

And then there’s the mind-control. Yes, Robert’s whores learn how to use mind-control and remote viewing, and astral-projection, and all that hippy bullshit. And they use these powers for evil. To go all Inception on some business associates, by planting ideas in their heads and such.

In the end, these were great skills to master, because Robert gets arrested for his evil deeds, and his girls get him off (heh, they got him off) by manipulating the minds of the judges. Nice. But why’d this story have to go all super-natural? Why couldn’t they just be whores, goddamnit? There’s just no reason for all that hippy nonsense. I don’t get it. It must be because I’m not a woman. I’ve only got man-titties, and they’re just not cutting it.

I didn’t like this story. In fact, at times, I hated it. Because it just pissed me off. It took a perfectly good idea and totally destroyed it. Why, man? It just made no sense to me. Most of the story was just boring business bullshit. And happy happy joy joy girly shit. No conflict, whatsoever.

I’d highly recommend this book to women. It’s a perfect fantasy book for women. But I’d strongly advise men to stay the hell away from this piece of shit of a book. Because it’s a complete fucking waste of time. I can’t even jack off to this shit, and I can jack off to just about anything.

Whatever you do, DO NOT GET MY BOOK at amazon. It’s known to cause serious brain damage. And it’s fucking hilarious. You wouldn’t want that.

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Comments
  1. Darklee says:

    Considering how often you use terms like whore and slut in these reviews, you might want to change your title to “Glenn Hates Women.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • gegrizzle says:

      Absolutely not. I don’t hate women at all. I’ve been married to an actual female for 26 years. If anyone hates women, it’s the author of this book.

      Like

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