Dissimilar Shorts 3 – are actually quite similar

Posted: June 9, 2015 in 4 Star Reviews, Fantasy, Fiction
Tags: , , , , , , ,

shorts3

4 of 5 Wizarding-World-of-Demons Stars – Dissimilar Shorts 3 by J.B. Taylor.

I actually liked the short stories in this ‘book’. But I have a hard time calling it a book, because it’s really only 28 pages of content. The rest of the pages are dedicated to promotional material. So, I guess it’s more of a pamphlet than a book.

I also have a hard time calling this a ‘collection’ of short stories. Because it only includes two short stories. If you have two of something, it’s not really a collection, now is it? But whatever this publication is, it’s actually pretty decent, if you don’t notice all the grammatical errors.

I mean, I find errors in just about everything I read, but this publication had more errors than usual. Using ‘sense’ when trying to say ‘since’ is just plain silly. And that’s just one example. There are plenty more.

All that being said, the first story of this ‘collection’ is very good. It’s about a girl who unleashes a bunch of demons on the world, because she’s a fucking idiot. She wanders into a mausoleum, and finds an old book. And she thinks to herself, “I really shouldn’t open this book and read it aloud. Bad things could happen. Oh, who am I kidding… That’s just in the movies, right? It’s fine. I’ll just read a little passage.”

And sure enough, all hell breaks loose. The protector of the mausoleum wakes from his slumber and tells her that it’s now her job to go fetch all those fucking demons and put ’em back where she fucking found ’em. Stupid cunt. Or, she could just go kill the boss guy. Mr. Scorpion. He’s a big, badass, motherfucker of a demon, and he’s having a blast destroying Reno.

This story plays out like it’s a fucking video game. The girl slashes through demon after demon with the help from some local cops. Then she gets to the top of Cesar’s Palace to fight the boss demon. Planes and helicopters are flying overhead, shooting the motherfucker. But the bombs and bullets just bounce off him.

So this stupid girl is supposed to fight this boss demon alone. All she has is a gun. It’s not even a big gun. And from the looks of it, this motherfucker is bulletproof. And bombproof. So, she shoots a rocket that is next to the motherfucker, and the demon explodes, and all the rest of the demons get trapped back in the mausoleum. The end.

What? The motherfucker was bomb proof, you idiot. This is fucking bullshit. Why would you tell us that he’s bombproof and bulletproof, and then end the story by blowing up a bomb on him? Are you just trying to set up a sequel? I mean, what the actual fuck is happening? I thought, okay, this isn’t really the end. They’re gonna get back to the mausoleum, and the big motherfucker is gonna come back to life and skull fuck this stupid bitch. Right? Nope. It’s just the end. Fucking bullshit.

The next story is about a wizard that holds up a convenience store with his wand. And this isn’t in some fucking Harry Potter land, either. It’s just downtown L.A. or something. Wizard’s aren’t supposed to exist, goddamnit. But apparently, they do. And of course, there’s a special government wizarding agency that tries to control them.

And that’s pretty much the whole story. It’s only about six pages long. So, it wasn’t much of a story. It was more of an outline than a real story, really. But it wasn’t bad. I’d still recommend this ‘book’. It’s a fun and quick read. And it doesn’t make you think too much. In fact, I think a few of my brain cells died while reading this book. Maybe I shouldn’t have been high as balls while reading it. Naaa. Fuck that.

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMMINGS Watch ’em all jump off. And laugh and laugh. Get my book. It’s fucking hilarious. Clicky Clicky –>> http://amzn.to/1wKcVK6

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