Posts Tagged ‘horror’


3 of 5 Freaky and Disgusting Stars – The Bighead by Edward Lee

I thought I knew all about sick and twisted things, before I read this book. I mean, I thought there were rules. I’ve read plenty of sick and twisted books in the past, but most of them have a line they will not cross. For instance, most of the time, if some serial killer picks up an underage girl and drags her off to his lair, you’re not gonna get too many details of that encounter. It’s gonna be some pussy-whipped ending to a chapter. He gets her to his lair, and then…

Authors usually leave those gory details out. I guess they’re too scared to write about gang raping a 12 year old girl. Or boy, for that matter. But Edward Lee is not one of those authors. He’ll tell you every gory detail about that experience. How the boy tasted his sister’s shit on his dad’s cock, while his dad raped his mouth.

But that’s just one small example. There’s so much gore and debauchery in this book, it literally is torture porn. I mean, it’s not just torture that some may find erotic. It’s seriously graphic torture and graphic rape over and over and over. It’s real fucking porn.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I have to give Lee props for really going to town on this story, and not holding back at all. I rather enjoyed reading it. For the most part, it was absolutely fascinating. And I have to admit that I got wood more than once while reading this thing. Yes, I’m a sick and twisted pervert. What of it?

The only thing that really bothered me about this book wasn’t the gore or the porn, it was the fucked up style of prose that the author went with. Most of the book is written in broken redneck like english which was really annoying as fuck to read. But I understood why it was written that way. Because these sick fucks are backwoods idiots who can’t talk right. Or something.

But the bit that really gets me is that every time there’s a scene with a redneck, it’s always written with that same broken english prose. I get using that style with one guy. Especially with The Bighead himself. It was like an inner monologue or something. But for the rest of the redneck characters?

It was weird, because he gave those characters unique traits. They had their own voice, their own dialog and such, their own characteristics. So why the same goddamn prose? The only characters in this book who had normal style prose were the so-called “city folk”. So Lee kept switching back and forth, between these two styles, and it drove me absolutely bat-shit insane.

I’d recommend this book to anyone who thinks they are a sick and twisted pervert. Because you fucks don’t know what sick and twisted means, until you read this disgusting book.

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3 of 5 Puke-Inducing Stars – Cows by Matthew Stokoe.

This is the most vile and disgusting book I’ve ever read. By far. It’s like the author wrote this book for the sole purpose of being sick and twisted. Nevermind having a story. There’s no reason for a story when the reader can barely get through a sentence without puking their guts out, right?

This is the story of Steven, who is pretty much bat-shit insane from the very beginning. He believes he is being poisoned by his disgusting Hagbeast of a mother. Because she feeds him nasty slop that’s not even fit to feed the pigs. He can’t just turn his nose up and not eat it, because the Hagbeast makes sure that he’s eaten every bite.

Steven is the bane of his mother’s existence. She hates him. And Dog. She fucking hates the dog, who is called “Dog” for whatever reason. I mean, how hard is it to name your fucking dog? She pisses on Dog, and kicks him around, even though its hind legs don’t even work. It pulls itself around the house by its front paws, like a pathetic little invilid.

Steven hates the Hagbeast as well. So one day, he’s decided he’s had enough. So he says “Fuck you, ma! I’m doing the cooking from now on. You can’t poison me anymore.” So he goes into the kitchen and tries to find something to make, but he decides that he just can’t cook. So he does the next best thing. He goes into the bathroom with two plates, and comes out with two plates full of shit. He sets them down on the table, one in front of the Hagbeast, and one in front of himself.

“Eat up ma,” he says. Now, the Hagbeast is not stupid. No sir. She tells him that there’s no way she’s eating what he’s prepared, unless he eats it as well. So, he takes a bite. And the Hagbeast starts shoving the shit into her ugly face, only to puke all over the kitchen table.

That part is disgusting, yes. But that’s just the beginning. It gets so much worse from then on. And then, Steven learns how to communicate with cows, for some reason. I guess, because they want him to kill their tormentor, Cripps. Because Cripps rapes them before and after killing them, at the factory.

That whole storyline seemed pretty fucking stupid. Frankly, the whole book is fucking retarded. It goes from a guy who hates his mother, to a guy who wants the perfect picket fence life, with his insane girlfriend, to a guy who’s learned to murder, and enjoy it, to a guy who talks to cows and believes that he’s their leader.

So the only point I can see to this book, is that brits are sick and twisted fucks. I mean, we knew that already. We didn’t really need this detailed description of the how and why they’re sick and twisted.

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2 of 5 Stupid-Ass Stars – Bird Box by Josh Malerman.

This book seems like the author just got fucking lazy. He wanted to write a post-apocalyptic story, where the world has been overrun by terrifying monsters. What kind of monsters are they? Nobody can say. Because this author is too fucking lazy to create an actual monster.

This book is about an invisible threat. Monsters, or aliens, or some guy with a shotgun, who the fuck knows. It’s just a threat that drives people completely fucking insane if they happen to catch a glimpse of it. There are reports of people who ventured outside, saw the unseeable, and ended up butchering anyone they came in contact with. Because this threat is just soooo scary.

I say, bullshit. It’s not scary at all, it’s just fucking stupid. There are no reports of actual monsters mauling anyone. As far as I can tell, the only monsters are just crazy humans.

So the whole world has decided that the only solution to this problem is to lock themselves in their house, cover the windows, and never, EVER look outside, whatever you do. If they do go outside, people put on blindfolds, or something, to cover their eyes, so they don’t see what horror lies in the shadows.

The only reason I kept reading this book was to finally find some answers. I really just wanted to know what the fuck was actually happening. Were there really monsters? Had the earth been invaded by terrifying aliens? Or, are people just plain stupid?

Nobody knows. The questions were never answered. So I’m left thinking, I should have never read this stupid goddamn book. Because, it’s not really a story. It’s missing that crucial element of fear. Something to actually be afraid of.

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2 of 5 Zombified Stars – The Girl with All the Gifts by M.R. Carey.

Why are there so many fucking zombie stories? So many different varieties, but zombies nonetheless. From the title, and book cover, and even the blurb, I couldn’t tell that this was going to be a zombie story. In fact, I imagined a completely different story. A better story.

I thought this book was going to be about a girl who really had all the gifts. Like, maybe she had some form of ESP. Maybe she could set fires with her mind. Hell, she could have been like Rogue, from X-Men and I wouldn’t have been too surprised. Because, that’s what I expected. A girl with gifts.

But that’s not what this book is about. It’s about goddamn fucking zombies. Or, “hungries” as they’re called in this book. They have an insatiable hunger for human flesh, and if one of them bites you, guess what, you become a hungry one too. So, they’re zombies. Goddamn fucking zombies. I really don’t get this craze. Are there really no more original stories anymore? The author could have made this a unique story, without zombies, but no.

It’s even like he tried to make it an original story. Because these aren’t typical zombies. About 1% of them are fully functioning people, still able to talk and interact, like this gifted girl. But she still has the hunger. She still eats human flesh, and finds it the most amazing thing she’s ever experienced, but she feels really bad about it.

This book is about a select few of these human-like zombies, who are being kept, and educated at an army base. Well, not really educated, mostly they’re just test subjects for the government to probe and dissect, in hopes to find a cure to the hunger. Well, that’s great, but the base gets overrun by the hungries, and the gifted girl has to flee, with her teacher, a scientist, and a Sergeant. It’s like Gilligan’s Island, but with zombies. Oh, and there’s not really an island.

They run around the countryside, trying to find shelter and avoiding as many hungries as they can. It ends up being a constant battle for survival, like every other goddamn zombie story out there. In the end, there is an impressive showdown with the naked gifted girl, and a young boy with a baseball bat. It reminded me a lot of that old Star Trek episode, where there are only kids left alive, and some virus killed off all the adults.

Overall, I really wouldn’t recommend this book to anyone. It’s too much like every other goddamn zombie story out there. And once you’ve read one, you’ve pretty much read all of ’em. There’s no way I would have picked up this book and actually started reading it, if I had any idea it was another fucking zombie story.

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1 of 5 Metaphorically-Speaking Stars – The Wasp Factory by Iain Banks.

I hate this book so much. I’ve tried finishing it like 5 times now. I just can’t do it. It’s just sooooooo bad. And it makes me feel stupid, like I’m missing something. Something profound. But I really doubt it. I’m still convinced that it’s just a horrible book.

This book has got to be some kind of fucked up metaphor. But I’m just too damn stupid to understand it. It’s written from the point of view of some stupid kid. About 10 or so, from what I can tell. He blathers on endlessly about bullshit. His life sucks. He doesn’t have any friends. Bla bla bla… Who the fuck cares? I know I don’t, that’s for sure.

Eventually, he gets on about being a killer. A murderer. Or something. I’m not quite sure. He kills rabbits, and a deer, and then goes on about that time he killed some kid. Or something. I really don’t know because it was so fucking boring I nearly fell asleep reading it.

Even after the so-called killing started, it was boring as shit. So, fuck this kid in his dirty asshole. I really hope he did get raped or something. Unfortunately, I don’t know if he got raped, because I stopped reading about halfway through. I had to stop. Because, fuck this goddamn book. Oh, and fuck Iain Banks in his asshole too, because everyone fucking loves him for some goddamn reason. Especially those dirty cunts in the UK.

Hell, the only reason I picked this book, and actually tried to read it, was because I was chatting with some UK chick, while playing backgammon online. She (oh who am I kidding… ‘She’ was probably a dude. lolz) kept gushing about this jackass Banks. Said I just had to pick up one of his books. “He’s brilliant!” she assured me. Fucking bullshit.

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1 of 5 Totally-Visible Stars – Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk.

This book is not about invisible monsters. If you look under your bed at night, looking for monsters, you will not find anything that is contained in this book. Because there’s not one single monster in this goddamn book.

It’s about stupid, vapid bimbos. Silly-ass cunts that may end up killing each other one day. Because their hair isn’t just so, or because they chipped a fucking nail. Whatever. It’s fucking stupid.

Okay, sure. People can be monsters. I know this, okay? But, goddamnit. Give me a real fucking people monster, at least. Damn. These bitches are not monsters, they’re just stupid spoiled whores.

So, fuck Chucky boy in his stupid dirty asshole. Because, I know he can write about monsters. I know he’s a sick fuck and he writes about fucked up things. Oh, and fuck those stupid spoiled cunts in their asshole too. Because they’re bad, and they should feel bad.

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3 of 5 Dream-Induced Stars – Fate of Chiron by C.J. Anderson.

This is a very short story, at just 25 pages. It seems like this author’s stories are getting shorter and shorter. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, it’s just being billed as “book 3 of the ruinland series”. Well, it’s not a goddamn book.

Frankly, none of this series qualify as books. If you put all three stories together in one volume, they would barely qualify as a one full novel for fuck’s sake. But I understand why she’s publishing them this way. Number 1, she’ll probably make more money selling it as a series. Number 2, it’s easier to crank out a short story every month or so, then it is to actually write several novels. So, I get it.

All that being said, this story confused the shit out of me. I mean, I understood the story, I just didn’t understand any of the WHY. Why’d she write this story about Chiron? Why didn’t she continue the story where the 2nd one left off? I mean, the 2nd story left us at kind of a cliffhanger. We assumed that Chiron was dead, and we were glad for it! How and why is the little girl still alive enough to actually find Chiron? I mean she nearly dies several times, even with him trying his best to keep her safe. How the hell did she last long enough on her own to end up finding him in the first place? And if she’s wearing an air tight bio-suit, how did she end up almost drowning?

For such a short story, there’s a lot of unanswered questions.

And don’t even get me started on the whole Christian angle. The first two stories seemed to be very much against religion, taking every opportunity to show the reader how religion is destroying the world. This is a viewpoint that I happen to very much agree with. But then, in this story, she takes the opposite approach. Going on about how god is so wonderful, how he made us, and how we should be happy to die and go up to heaven, and all that happy happy, joy joy goo.

If this was a stand alone story, that viewpoint wouldn’t have bothered me at all, but after reading all about how, in this world, Religion is obviously evil. And then, to read this story, telling me about how great god is and all that, I just don’t get the WHY? What’s the point in the opposite view?

Now, I don’t expect to find answers these questions. I’m just frustrated because I love the world this author has created, and I hate to see Ruinland ruined. Not that this story has ruined it at all, but it doesn’t make me want to continue the series. Because, I don’t want to witness the whole idea deteriorating into a wasteland of agnostic horseshit.

Enter Ruinland, the first story in this series, is still FREE for Kindle at Amazon. It’s also a bit longer, at 79 pages, and is my favorite of the series, so far.

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3 of 5 Killer Stars – Locked Doors by Blake Crouch.

The problem with this book, is it’s just the same shit all over again, in different settings. Luther Kite and Orson go around doing their serial killer thing, while Andrew scratches his head and tries to figure it out. Then, Andrew gets captured by one of the killers and oh noes, they’re gonna kill him this time, right? No such luck. It’s the same story in all these books.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a pretty good book, if you’re into the whole serial killer thing, which I am. But come on Blakey boy, throw me some curve balls for fuck’s sake. Would it kill you to surprise the reader every once in a while? Because all these fucking books are way too predictable.

There’s really no point to reading ’em, except to fast forward to the killing and torturing. But at least, once you get to those good parts, they’re pretty good. Then, I have to stop masturbating when Andy inevitably escapes. Really pisses me off.

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3 of 5 Confused Stars – We Are All Completely Fine by Daryl Gregory.

I don’t understand this writer. His style drove me nuts. In the narrative, he kept using we like a first person book would use I. It drove me insane. Like he was narrating the story in first person, but he wasn’t.

I kept looking for who the first person might be. I waited until the end… No demon or anyone stood up and said “Gotcha! It was me all along.” Which was kind of what I was expecting. But no. So, I’m still left confused.

Other than that, it was a great book. A compelling read, with vibrant characters and a disturbing story. It centers around a therapy group of fucked up rejects who all have some supernatural element in common. They reveal their stories one by one until they finally learn what must be done. And no, it’s not group suicide. Good guess, though.

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4 of 5 Sick-Ass Stars – The Troop by Nick Cutter.

This book starts out as a fascinating story about a drunk guy, down on his luck. He agrees to take part in a medical experiment which goes horribly wrong. He escapes to a small town, where he sits down at a diner and eats plate after plate of food, because he has this unending NEED TO FEED.

Ok, great set-up. Then what happens? He goes to a deserted island, for no apparent reason. Well, he expects it to be deserted, but there’s a Boy Scout Troop of kids, with their Scoutmaster, camping near the beach.

This is what I don’t get: why the bloody fuck did he go to the island? The food that he desperately NEEDED was in the town. So, what motivation would make him go to an island, which probably had no food? It doesn’t make any fucking sense. Unless, of course, he just went there to die, which I doubt.

So, the Scoutmaster just happens to be a doctor. Isn’t that convenient for the plot? Of course it is.

I’m waiting on the edge of my seat to find out what happens to this guy when… The fucking kids go on a goddamn hike for like 100 goddamn pages. And, the Scoutmaster stayed behind to care for their sick guest.

What the fuck? What happened to the guy? We don’t get back to the Scoutmaster and the sick guy for another goddamn 100 or so fucking pages. This drove me absolutely crazy. Reading about the goddamn kids trying to get their fucking merit badges. I don’t fucking care. Get back to the fucking interesting guy already!

That being said, it’s an awesome book. Once they get back to the sick guy, things get crazy, and I couldn’t put it down. It was so engaging, all the way to the end.

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