Posts Tagged ‘novella’

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3 of 5 Stars – Samantha by K  Morris.

I’m not a fan of how British people write. Since I’m just a retarded American, by ‘British’, I mean anyone who lives in Europe. They spell things weird. They use different punctuation. They say “I went to University” or “I went to Hospital”. I’m sorry, but that shit ain’t right. It’s “the University” or “the hospital”, you limey fucks.

That’s really my biggest complaint about this story. All the Britishness kept shining through, and it distracted me from the story. Frankly, it pissed me off. Because the story is about a hot-ass whore in Liverpool. Sure, she isn’t a whore by choice, but who is, really. Most girls don’t long to be a whore when they grow up. They’re thrust (heh, I said ‘thrust’) into the profession in one way or another.

That was the first, but not the last cliche in this story. Like, oh noes, will her non-John boyfriend find out that she’s a whore? Of course he will. But will he just forgive her, so they can get on with their lovely life? Will they fall in love, get married, have little whore babies? No fucking way. She’s a whore, for fuck’s sake.

But she’s also practically royalty. Her father is a goddamn lord. Can you believe that shit? A lord has a whore for a daughter. Sweet. I bet he’s really proud. Probably sent her to the best whore school. Hired her a good whore tutor. Helped her with her whore homework. Okay, that’s a bit gross.

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