Posts Tagged ‘sick and twisted’

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3 of 5 Fucked-Up Stars – The Pig by Edward Lee.

The problem with writing about debauchery, is that there are only so many variations of brutal sex and torture. Or at least that’s what I’m assuming, with this book. Because Edward lee repeats himself often in this book. He borrows from his other sick and twisted books, instead of coming up with new and interesting debauchery.

Well, except for the bestiality, of course. That sick and twisted porn is exclusive to this book, as far as I can tell. Because that’s what this book is. Porn. The most disgusting porn I’ve ever read, that’s for sure. There’s pig fucking, where the junkie whore catches the pig’s jizz in a shot glass and downs that shit with a grin. Then, there’s the dog fucking. And the horse fucking.

And it’s all captured on film, by our hero, the geeky Leonard D’arava. Leonard is a film school nerd who was looking to make his first film, fresh out of school. Like an idiot, he got a loan from a brutal loan shark, to make his film. Of course, when the time came to pay back the loan, Leonard didn’t have the cash.

So now, Leonard is owned by the mob. They keep him at an old farmhouse, out in the middle of nowhere, to make his dirty animal porn. With two strung out junkie whores to keep him company.

One day, the mobsters show up with some white bitch who was the daughter of some judge. I guess the judge didn’t take kindly to bribery, so the mobsters took his daughter to the farm, to make a nice snuff film. Leonard films the whole thing. He’s not happy with his lot in life, but there’s not much he can do about it.

The mobsters didn’t give a fuck about Leonard, or the skanky whores, so the only food they left at the farmhouse was dog food. So, after a brutal pig-fucking session, where the whores ended up killing the pig, Leonard decided something… Fuck this shit. He’d eat that motherfucking pig.

He butchered it up, and ate that pig. Then, he literally turned into a demon. Because apparently, that pig was cursed or something. His body turned green. His cock went from being 5 inches erect, to being 10 inches flaccid. Oh, and he started growing horns on his head. Like you do.

At night, he went across the field to an Amish community, and fucked all the virgin Amish girls with his 15 inch cock. Because, that’s what you do when you’re a green demon with a huge cock. You go impregnate a bunch of pure-as-the-driven-snow Amish girls with your literal demon seed.

I liked this book, because it was sick and disgusting. It made me cringe more than once, that’s for sure. I hated this book, because it was just more of the same Edward Lee porn. For him, it wasn’t very original.

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2 of 5 Not-So-Sick Stars – Sicker Bastards by Matt Shaw.

This book tries really hard to be sick and twisted. And it fails miserably. I’ve read sick and twisted, and this is not it, not by a long shot. But the author does try very hard. He’s just not good at it.

The story begins with the “family” eating human flesh. As the son feasts on said flesh, he can’t help but wonder what it would taste like, being eaten out of his sister’s vagina. See? He’s trying really hard, this Matt Shaw. The son even acts out that fantasy with his sister, a few pages later. And yes, if that was in fact his sister, that would be a bit twisted, I admit. But *spoiler alert* she’s not his sister.

This “family” has apparently been assembled as part of a government experiment, or something. They all woke up in that house, not knowing who they were. They also woke up extremely horny. Supposedly, because of the drug cocktail that the government used to dose this family’s drinking water. So there’s incestuous fucking going on all bloody day. Good times. But again, it’s not really incestuous.

The book cuts back and forth, between current time, and the before time. Before the son got in this situation. Back when he was living in his mom’s basement. I saw many opportunities for the author to make it clear that this so-called “family” the son is currently involved with is in fact, his real family.

That would have been cool. I mean the only reason he’s really fucking his fake sister and mother is that he knows they are fake. He’s been to the military base. He knows the truth. So, if his memories finally did come flooding back, and he slowly realizes that he’s humping his dead real-mom’s corpse… That would have been some good story telling right there. But noooooooooo.

So the problem with this book is really the fact that I’m writing a better story in my head while reading this pile of shit. That’s not my job, goddamnit. It’s the author’s fucking job. So get it right next time, you stupid cunt.

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3 of 5 Freaky and Disgusting Stars – The Bighead by Edward Lee

I thought I knew all about sick and twisted things, before I read this book. I mean, I thought there were rules. I’ve read plenty of sick and twisted books in the past, but most of them have a line they will not cross. For instance, most of the time, if some serial killer picks up an underage girl and drags her off to his lair, you’re not gonna get too many details of that encounter. It’s gonna be some pussy-whipped ending to a chapter. He gets her to his lair, and then…

Authors usually leave those gory details out. I guess they’re too scared to write about gang raping a 12 year old girl. Or boy, for that matter. But Edward Lee is not one of those authors. He’ll tell you every gory detail about that experience. How the boy tasted his sister’s shit on his dad’s cock, while his dad raped his mouth.

But that’s just one small example. There’s so much gore and debauchery in this book, it literally is torture porn. I mean, it’s not just torture that some may find erotic. It’s seriously graphic torture and graphic rape over and over and over. It’s real fucking porn.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I have to give Lee props for really going to town on this story, and not holding back at all. I rather enjoyed reading it. For the most part, it was absolutely fascinating. And I have to admit that I got wood more than once while reading this thing. Yes, I’m a sick and twisted pervert. What of it?

The only thing that really bothered me about this book wasn’t the gore or the porn, it was the fucked up style of prose that the author went with. Most of the book is written in broken redneck like english which was really annoying as fuck to read. But I understood why it was written that way. Because these sick fucks are backwoods idiots who can’t talk right. Or something.

But the bit that really gets me is that every time there’s a scene with a redneck, it’s always written with that same broken english prose. I get using that style with one guy. Especially with The Bighead himself. It was like an inner monologue or something. But for the rest of the redneck characters?

It was weird, because he gave those characters unique traits. They had their own voice, their own dialog and such, their own characteristics. So why the same goddamn prose? The only characters in this book who had normal style prose were the so-called “city folk”. So Lee kept switching back and forth, between these two styles, and it drove me absolutely bat-shit insane.

I’d recommend this book to anyone who thinks they are a sick and twisted pervert. Because you fucks don’t know what sick and twisted means, until you read this disgusting book.

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3 of 5 Puke-Inducing Stars – Cows by Matthew Stokoe.

This is the most vile and disgusting book I’ve ever read. By far. It’s like the author wrote this book for the sole purpose of being sick and twisted. Nevermind having a story. There’s no reason for a story when the reader can barely get through a sentence without puking their guts out, right?

This is the story of Steven, who is pretty much bat-shit insane from the very beginning. He believes he is being poisoned by his disgusting Hagbeast of a mother. Because she feeds him nasty slop that’s not even fit to feed the pigs. He can’t just turn his nose up and not eat it, because the Hagbeast makes sure that he’s eaten every bite.

Steven is the bane of his mother’s existence. She hates him. And Dog. She fucking hates the dog, who is called “Dog” for whatever reason. I mean, how hard is it to name your fucking dog? She pisses on Dog, and kicks him around, even though its hind legs don’t even work. It pulls itself around the house by its front paws, like a pathetic little invilid.

Steven hates the Hagbeast as well. So one day, he’s decided he’s had enough. So he says “Fuck you, ma! I’m doing the cooking from now on. You can’t poison me anymore.” So he goes into the kitchen and tries to find something to make, but he decides that he just can’t cook. So he does the next best thing. He goes into the bathroom with two plates, and comes out with two plates full of shit. He sets them down on the table, one in front of the Hagbeast, and one in front of himself.

“Eat up ma,” he says. Now, the Hagbeast is not stupid. No sir. She tells him that there’s no way she’s eating what he’s prepared, unless he eats it as well. So, he takes a bite. And the Hagbeast starts shoving the shit into her ugly face, only to puke all over the kitchen table.

That part is disgusting, yes. But that’s just the beginning. It gets so much worse from then on. And then, Steven learns how to communicate with cows, for some reason. I guess, because they want him to kill their tormentor, Cripps. Because Cripps rapes them before and after killing them, at the factory.

That whole storyline seemed pretty fucking stupid. Frankly, the whole book is fucking retarded. It goes from a guy who hates his mother, to a guy who wants the perfect picket fence life, with his insane girlfriend, to a guy who’s learned to murder, and enjoy it, to a guy who talks to cows and believes that he’s their leader.

So the only point I can see to this book, is that brits are sick and twisted fucks. I mean, we knew that already. We didn’t really need this detailed description of the how and why they’re sick and twisted.

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4 of 5 Psychotic Stars – The Yoga Sutras by Jackson Radcliffe.

This book is fascinating, in the weirdest ways. It’s like an atheist transgender priest is giving a sermon on the meaning of life, and how one can attain enlightenment. Or something. That’s how much sense this book doesn’t make. And at the same time, it makes perfect sense.

It’s the subtle journey of one man’s descent into madness. His beautiful wife suggests he take a Yoga class, to help him deal with his many issues. He takes the Yoga class, because he’s incapable of saying no to his wife. Hell, he’s incapable of saying no to anyone, really.

He’s really just a pathetic loser, trying to make sense of his fucked up life. His wife hates him. His daughter hates him. His goldfish hate him. His SatNAV definitely hates him. And, he’s pretty sure that his wife is, in fact, the devil.

Poor Dave gets so distraught that women rule his life, that he starts to think about becoming one himself. He reads up about it, how the penis can actually be turned into a vagina, and all that good stuff. He goes online, and chats up some transgender freaks who politely tell him to “Fuck off!”

Just as I was sure that this poor sap was about to take a hatchet to lop off his dick, he comes back to his senses, and is again sure that his wife must be killed, because she is, in fact, the devil. But, he can’t think of a good way to kill her. So he asks his SatNAV, as you do. The navigation system in his car proceeds to break down the many ways he could kill his wife. Most of which involved motor vehicles.

Then Dave comes to his senses again, and decides just to poison her instead of running her over with the Jag, or shoving her off a cliff, or choking her to death. Mostly because his SatNAV told him he was too much of a pussy to pull it off.

Needless to say, this book was fucking hilarious. It actually had me laughing out loud. If I had any weed or LSD, I’d totally read this book while on that shit. It’d be a mad trip, for sure.

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2 of 5 Not-So-Sexy Stars – Frisk by Dennis Cooper.

This is not really a novel. Maybe a novella, but not a novel. It’s not even a real story. It’s just excerpts from someone’s so-called life. Mostly normal, gay sex scenes. I mean, a little kink here and there, sure. But, for the most part, it’s boring-as-shit gay sex scenes. Big-fucking-deal.

Then, for some reason, this guy turns into a serial killer. Just because he can, apparently. I guess the Dutch just ask for it or something. He finds it just so easy to kill, so he does it, and continues to do it, in graphic detail. He picks up guys, and takes them to a deserted factory and kills and rapes them.

Or does he? This fictional character narrates these detailed killing scenes as a letter he’s writing to a friend back in the states. But, its just a fantasy, he tells his friend, after the friend actually comes to Amsterdam to visit this crazy serial killer. It wasn’t real, was it?

No, it wasn’t real. So, I just read about an 11 year old boy getting skull fucked and disemboweled with a swiss army knife (at the same time, mind you), and it wasn’t even anything I could pretend to happen. Because, it was fiction within fiction. Even the goddamn fiction was fiction! What the fuck?

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5 of 5 Fucked-Up Stars – Off Season by Jack Ketchum.

Wow. Just wow. This motherfucker knows how to write sick and twisted shit. I mean, why the fuck is Stephen King so goddamn popular? Nobody ever had to keep a puke bucket nearby while reading some Stephen King book. But, this motherfucker, Ketchum? Damn straight you better have a bucket handy. Fucking blood and guts everywhere in this guy’s books. It’s fucking awesome.

This is pretty much the standard cabin in the woods type horror story. People go on vacation to this secluded cabin, and all the sudden they’re being hunted by cannibals. But, damn… These cannibals don’t fuck around. Ketchum writes so much detail about how to cut open and eat a freshly killed human, it really makes you wonder. Is this motherfucker a goddamn cannibal?

Visions of naked 12 year old feral kids, fucking and giggling in their cave, while snacking on some freshly killed human flesh will haunt my dreams forever, after reading this book. Thank you, Jack Ketchum for making my mind even more fucked up. I am forever in your debt.

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4 of 5 Sick-And-Depraved Stars – The Girl Next Door by Jack Ketchum.

This is the sickest, most depraved shit I have ever read. I know, there are plenty of sick and twisted books out there, I’ve read many of them. But, all of them pale in comparison to this disturbing book.

A young teenage girl is systematically abused, beaten, tortured and raped throughout this book. But, that’s not really the sick part. It’s the old lady who is enabling all this torment. Getting the neighborhood boys to do the dirty deeds. Offering them Cokes, or candy so they will stick around for the good old fashioned torture of this poor teenage girl.

The boys go from being just harmless bullies in the first part of this book, to being straight up psychopaths by the end. They enjoy torturing this girl. They beg the old woman to let them cut the girl. They’re constantly coming up with new and interesting means of torment.

My eyes were glued to the pages of this book. I couldn’t put it down. The descent into insanity was pure terror, and it was fascinating to read.

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