Posts Tagged ‘the house’


3 of 5 Sick-As-Fuck Stars – The House by Edward Lee.

I’m usually not very fond of haunted house books. They’re just not that scary, or offensive at all. But that can’t be said about this book. It’s scary as fuck. And OMG is it brutally offensive in every way.

I had just finished reading The Pig, and figured, what the fuck, I might as well read this book, which is the story of what becomes of the farm house that The Pig was set in. Because the end of The Pig was quite horrific. So of course, The House is haunted as fuck.

It’s 30 years later, and geek-nerd Melvin has been sent to The House, to write a piece for the newspaper, about life in rural, upstate New York. Sounds simple enough. He drives to the house with his new hot-as-fuck stepmom. His dad says she’s got the best tits in New York, and soon enough, Melvin gets to see them with his own eyes.

Because shit gets crazy, and his new stepmom ends up banging a whole biker gang, because apparently she’s possessed by one of the whores that used to live in the house 30 years earlier. So, Melvin spies on his stepmom, while she bangs a bunch of bikers. While some other whore’s foot is deep in her ass.

Melvin watches, as his stepmom eats someone’s fresh, steaming shit, off a pool table, as she’s banged in the ass by more biker guys. So this book is pretty standard Edward Lee porn. But, I have to say, it’s a bit more original that usual. I’ve read several of his books, and this is the first time I’ve read about some hot bitch getting fucked in the ass, then pissed in the ass, then squirting chocolate syrup into her ass, to make a nice chocolate piss shake.

It’s amazing to me that nerdy Melvin remains a 30 year old virgin, throughout all the debauchery happening around him. Hell, a whore even offers to suck him off for 20 bucks. She even offers her pussy to him instead, but he just keeps getting distracted by all the horrifying visions from the haunted house.

I get it man, it’s pretty sick and twisted, what happened in that house. But come on… Get your priorities straight. Fuck that whore. Bang that pussy. Pop that cherry. Then, and only then, should you worry about all the crazy visions from that fucked up house. Just sayin’.

Visit me at Goodreads and Follow me on Twitter & Facebook