Posts Tagged ‘young adult’


4 of 5 Unbelievable Stars – The Giver by Lois Lowry.

This is a fascinating book. The world that the author has created is so unique and interesting. I actually got bored after the first chapter or so, and put it aside, thinking it was just stupid. But then, a friend who had read the book explained some of it to me, and after that, I just had to finish it.

Sure enough, after a few chapters, the world blossomed, and I found myself glued to the pages. It’s the story of a world where everything is bland. It’s literally in black and white. Nothing exciting ever happens, because their society is designed that way.

But then, our hero Jonas suddenly starts to see color. Oh wow, color. How amazing. Of course it’s not amazing to me, but to him, it’s unbelievable. Because since birth, everything he’s seen has been black and white.

Then, the sorting begins, as it does in every other goddamn young adult book. In this case, they’re not sorted into factions, per se. They’re sorted into jobs. Jonas happens to get chosen to be the Receiver, which is a very rare opportunity, indeed.

The Receiver is given the memories of the before time, before this society came to be. Back when there was color, and snow, and love. He is introduced to The Giver, who is to give him these memories.

This book moved me, and I really don’t know why. When The Giver tells Jonas, “You can call me, The Giver,” I literally cried. I can’t remember the last time a book made me feel that much emotion.

Since Jonas is a rebel, like all other heroes in every goddamn young adult book, he decides that the world must know about these amazing memories. The world has to see color, and know what it’s like to love.

Jonas kidnaps a baby, who was scheduled for termination, because he wasn’t as perfect as the other babies. Then, Jonas escapes the society, to the outer limits of its boundaries, because for some fucked up reason, if the boundary is breached, the society will get back all their memories of the before time, and see color, and love and all that happy horseshit.

None of this makes any fucking sense. How would suddenly passing a fence actually change everyone’s brains? From what I could tell, the society’s brains are modified with medication, that limits their eyesight, and their emotions. So, I just don’t get how some magical fence would make any change to that.

The only explanation is that it’s magic. But of course, as they say, technology is magic, to those who have never seen, or experienced it. I mean, show a smartphone to some fucker who lives in the jungle, and I’m sure they would think it’s magic. So, maybe it’s just some strange technology that I don’t understand.

Or maybe it’s just the author going, “Because I said so! Okay? I don’t have time to explain this shit.” Because, that’s really what I think it is. The author just got lazy.

That being said, it’s still an amazing book. I would highly recommend it. The world building is just plain fascinating, and the characters are so real, they made me fucking cry.

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3 of 5 Selfish-Cunt Stars – Every Day by David Levithan.

This is a very compelling love story. Unfortunately, that’s all it is. A love story. With its premise of an entity who wakes up in a different teenage body every day, it could have been so much more than a love story.

This entity, named simply ‘A’, wakes up one day as an asshole jock who just happens to have a sweet, beautiful girlfriend. A falls instantly in love with said girlfriend, and takes her on a fabulous, unforgettable journey to the beach.

And so begins their strange affair. As A wakes up the next day as a 16 year old girl, all she can think about is Rhiannon, the girlfriend from the day before. So, A begins to insert herself into Rhiannon’s life. Every time she/he wakes up as a different person, she finds a way to get back to Rhiannon’s life.

Eventually, A tells Rhiannon the incredible story of her so-called life. About waking up as a different person every goddamn day. And A explains the love she feels for Rhiannon, how she desperately needs to be part of Rhiannon’s life. Of course, Rhiannon has a hard time believing such a crazy story. But she finally does accept it, as A turns up every day as a different teenager.

It really is a fascinating story, because every day, A has to find a way to get back to Rhiannon. And Every day, Rhiannon has to wrestle with the idea of loving an entity. Loving a soul, while trying to ignore the human package it’s wrapped in.

It was kind of funny, when A turned up to see Rhiannon as a 300 pound fat-ass geek-boy. It was kind of hard for Rhiannon to see the soul of A, when she/he was wrapped up in such an unattractive package.

This story was an interesting study in sexuality, because A could wake up as a girl or a boy, and it never really mattered to he/she. A still wanted the same things. Still attracted to Rhiannon as much as the day before. Hell, they even kissed as both boy and girl.

One time, A woke up naked, in the arms of another girl. And it was beautiful. There was so much love, and nakedness, and sweet girl-on-girl action. I think I even got a mild chubby, reading that bit.

But, there was this whole sub-plot, where one boy that A inhabited actually woke up thinking he had been possessed by the devil. And, it got spread all over the internet, and the tabloids. THE DEVIL IS AMONG US! And there was this preacher who went on an on about the whole devil possession thing.

A goes to meet the preacher, and finds out that he’s in fact the same type of entity. Or something. It didn’t really make much sense. It was like the author had this idea, about the demon possession thing, and just forgot about it or something. Because that could have made this story much more than just a love story.

Because, A finds out that not only are there others out there just like her/him, but that it is actually possible to keep the body you woke up in, instead of switching to another at midnight. So, A could actually have a life together with Rhiannon.

But no. Instead, she runs away to another city, so she will never see Rhiannon again. Because she/he doesn’t want to steal another person’s life. I don’t fucking get it. This whole goddamn story is about A trying to find a way to have a love life with Rhiannon. As soon as she discovers a way to make it happen, she just abandons it, and runs away.

What the actual FUCK? The ending just negates the whole fucking story. It’s fucking bullshit. This whole time A is struggling to get together with Rhiannon. It’s the love she/he’s always wanted. And then, it’s just ended? What a crying shame.

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4 of 5 Giddy-As-A-Schoolgirl Stars – Steelheart by Brandon Sanderson.

Just about every time I read about about heroes and villains, I usually end up rooting for the villain. Because villains are fucking awesome. They destroy entire cities. They kill anyone who even tries to oppose them.

I’ve always known that, if I had a choice to be a hero or a villain, I’d chose villain every time. Because they’re just more fun. And they always get the bitches. Heroes have to hide their identity. They have to work at getting pussy. Fuck that shit.

I mean, think about Superman. That poor guy never gets laid. Because he has to live his life as fucking pathetic Clark Kent. And Spider-Man has the same damn problem. He loves Mary Jane, but he just can’t close the deal, because he doesn’t want to see her get hurt…

It fucking pisses me off. Why can’t superheroes grow a pair, and just be who they are, instead of hiding from everyone. Sure, that paints a target on your back, but when you’re motherfucking Superman, who the fuck cares? Nothing can hurt you. So, grow a pair and get some bitches, you stupid cry-baby fuck.

This book is about a world overrun by superheroes. But they’re not superheroes. They’re all supervillains. Because that’s how it’d really be, if the world was riddled with so many people with amazing powers. They would rule the world, no question.

I’ve never understood that part of the whole X-Men conflict. In the X-Men world, the mutants are scared of the government. They hide themselves, so they don’t get locked away and experimented on by Men in Black. But come on… That’s just not realistic. X-Men could rule the world, easily. But they don’t. Because they’re cry-baby little pussies.

That’s why this book is so goddamn awesome. Their world is ruled by supervillains. In fact, the government even made a law that states that any Epic has immunity to any law. So, they can rule with impunity, without anyone even trying to fuck with them.

But there’s still a select few who challenge the Epics every so often. A group of people who call themselves the Reckoners. The group is made up of a bunch of rebels who are sick and fucking tired of being ruled by asshole supervillains. So, they stalk the night and take out as many Epics as they can. Usually sticking with the minor Epics who can actually be killed.

Then, our hero David joins their ranks. He’s been studying the Epics since his father was killed 10 years earlier. David has compiled a bunch of notebooks which detail certain weaknesses in various Epics, which would make them so much easier to kill.

But of course, the Reckoners tell him to pound sand. Because, conflict. But then, David tells them about some of his research, about the Epic’s weaknesses… And he’s in the club! Yay. This bit seemed very forced. I mean it was so obvious that he would make a perfect addition to the team, that any of their objections just seemed fake and silly. And that just distracted me from the story. Because, I had to suspend belief for that bit. It just wasn’t genuine, and it pissed me off just a tad.

And the swearing… There’s so much fucking swearing in this book. But it’s kind of a young adult book, so there aren’t any real swear words. They say things like “Oh, calamity!” or “Sparks!” or “Shut up, you stupid slontze!” This was another thing that drove me crazy, and distracted me from the story. Again, I had to suspend belief like every other fucking page. Because, goddamnit… People don’t fucking talk like that. Sure, one guy might talk like that, but EVERY TIME SOMEONE SWORE??? Every goddamn character used those fake swear words. It’s just fucking bullshit.

But still, the story was fucking awesome. The slight flaws were made up by the awesome story and characters. I read this book, because after I reviewed The Last Superhero, I was extremely pissed off that there really were no superheros, or even supervillains in that book. With Steelheart, there’s Epics to spare, and I fucking loved it.

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4 of 5 Roller-Coaster Stars – The Society of Imaginary Friends by Kristen Pham.

I’m pretty sure that most kids experience imaginary friends, from time to time. Especially us geeky types, who didn’t have many real friends. You could always count on your imaginary friends to cheer you up. They would give you reasons not to kill yourself. Or at least, make you feel guilty enough not to do it. Because, they loved you. And even imaginary love is worth sticking around for.

This book tells the story of imaginary friends that really do exist. I mean, they exist elsewhere, on another planet entirely, but they project themselves to earth, like a hologram, to enrich children’s lives.

These imaginary friends, and their world, are full of magic and wonder. Sometimes, they find children on earth who are capable of amazing magic themselves. But the magic will kill them if they stay on earth. Because, reasons.

This story is about a young girl’s journey to this other world. Because, for some reason, Valerie’s oh so special. Bad guys from the other world are sent to attack her, but Valerie’s magic makes her a natural fighter. She turns into a She-Hulk and destroys anyone who tries to stop her.

Okay, she doesn’t really turn into a She-Hulk. But the rage wells up inside her, and her power just goes berserk, and… Goddamnit. It’s just easier to say she turns into a fucking She-Hulk.

And of course, there’s the dreamy boy-toy who has been sent to protect her, on her journey to the other world. But then, Valerie is whisked away to the Globe, in the first ingenious mode of transportation in this book. She’s hurled through outer space in a bubble, that she steers with her mind. So, of course she gets lost immediately.

That’s one of the coolest parts of this book. The unique modes of transportation. From magic tunnels, to magic wind portals, to bending space and time… It’s just amazing and creative.

Valerie finally does find her way to this magical land, where there are even more bad guys after her. I never really did figure out why the fuck everyone is after this girl. There’s really nothing that special about her. Sure, she’s a She-Hulk type fighter, but so what? I mean, she can bring people back from the dead. Big deal.

It’s just like… This whole book is an adrenaline rush, where the characters are always running for their life. Someone is always out to get them. But why? I just can’t figure that bit out. Why do they want to get this girl? I kept thinking that there would be some reveal in the end, about how she’s some kind of legacy, or prophecy that must be stopped or something… But no.

I loved this book because of its amazing world building, and vibrant characters. I actually cared what the fuck happened to this girl. I didn’t know why I cared. I just did. Because these imaginary friends are real, goddamnit. They’re real to me, at least. Don’t judge me!

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3 of 5 Stupid Cunt Stars – Divergent by Veronica Roth.

Before I heard of this book, I didn’t know the word Divergent even existed. Then, I started reading the book, and the protagonist started explaining the factions. I’m pretty sure the author just made up words for the faction titles because fuck, I’ve never heard of those words either.

I mean, Abnegation isn’t a word, is it? Or Erudite? I mean am I just completely illiterate? Well, probably, because I had to look up how to spell illiterate. But still! Every time I was reading about the factions, my brain just went bla bla bla, that’s not a word, just skip it.

That being said, it was still an interesting and compelling story. Albeit, a very juvenile way of telling it. I mean the first person protagonist is just a typical moody teenage girl. Seriously, who wants to hear about some stupid teenage girl, from her point of view? Apparently me, because I still finished the goddamn thing.

It really is a good story, even though it’s derivative as fuck. I mean, come on… Putting teenagers into factions is not an original idea at all. It’s like nearly every goddamn young adult book puts ’em in factions. What’s the deal with that? Is it because teens are rebellious, and it’s just a tool to create more conflict? Probably.

But, I don’t really care. It was still well worth reading. The Dauntless faction that young Tris chose, definitely sounds like fun. I don’t know why any teenager would chose any of the other factions, really. Because, the rest of them sound boring as fuck.

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4 of 5 Matrix Stars – The Game by Terry Schott

This book was so compelling. It kept my eyes glued to the page, that’s for sure. I couldn’t stop reading it. I finished it in one sitting, my attention was that captivated.

The story is about The Game, which is a virtual reality simulation. It was designed to help educate children, allowing them to live complete lives within The Game. When they reach schooling age, they are allowed to jack into The Game, leaving their bodies in an induced coma, being fed by a feeding tube.

The Game is very much like The Matrix. But instead of a plot to escape The Game, it’s a story of how the player’s lives are manipulated, to create the perfect life. To get the perfect score. To be #1.

But this is a difficult task, because the players are not aware that they are playing a game. Outside forces can only make subtle hints to help them. Thankfully, the Mainframe that controls the game is helping the players along. Because it has become self aware. Oh noes… Nothing good can come of this, right?

It’s really too bad that the Mainframe didn’t really turn out to be evil. I was really hoping for a HAL 9000 moment, where the Mainframe finally took complete control and just did whatever the bloody fuck she wanted. Fire and brimstone kind of stuff. The end of the world. Dogs and cats living together. That sort of thing.

But no. The Mainframe didn’t turn evil. In fact, the real problem with this book is that nobody ever turned evil. There weren’t any real villains at all. I mean, there were some slightly shady characters, but nobody really out to destroy anything.

As I was reading this book, I was bored by the actual game itself. The behind the scenes trickery was much more interesting. Unfortunately, most of the book is actually set inside the game. Which kind of sucked, because inside the game, it’s just life as usual. You go to school, you go to work, you eat dinner…

Who the fuck cares? I mean you’ve got this awesome idea, this Game, where you can do anything. Be anything. But you can’t. Because the author decided that the players won’t know they’re playing a game. It would have been so much better if they were aware of it. Then, they really could do anything. But no…

As it is, the story turned out to be The Truman Show. Where everyone in the world tuned in to watch the players lives. Why they would tune in to watch such a mundane life, I’m not quite sure.

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3 of 5 Extra Girly Stars – Extras by Scott Westerfeld

This book is aptly titled, because it doesn’t need to exist. It’s like a forced book, in an otherwise decent series. It really should have ended with Specials. But nooo… Authors gots to get paid, right?

This book is the story of Aya Fuse, and her obsession with being famous. It’s kind of a social media type story. The cool kids, known as “kickers” are always kicking stories to the ‘net, to get fame, or what reddit would call karma, or something.

It’s stupid. It’d definitely a teeny-bopper thing. Getting your selfie noticed on facebook, or doing something stupid and filming it for youtube. That’s what happens for the majority of this book, just Aya filming stupid shit with her hover-drone, and posting it to wherever in order to get followers, or fame.

And of course, there’s some plot to destroy the world, that she happens to stumble upon. This makes her uber-famous, and she gets to live the high-life for a while, until Tally and Shay show up. The bitches from the previous books. I’m not sure what the fuck they’re doing in this book, because their history in the series has absolutely nothing to do with this story.

I really think the author should have either continued his story with Tally and Shay, or started a completely new series in this awesome world he’s created. Because that world is awesome, filled with spectacular sci-fi elements and technology.

But no. He had to go and skull fuck the series with this book. It just doesn’t belong in the series. And, in the end, it’s just a stupid fucking story about an obsessed teenage girl. It’s not near as interesting as the previous books. So, don’t bother with this one. Just end it with Specials, and call it a day.

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3 of 5 Super-Gay Stars – A World Without Princes by Soman Chainani.

This isn’t quite as good as the first book in this series. However, it’s even more gay, if that’s even possible. I mean, in the first book, Agatha and Sophie were totally hot for each other. In this book, Sophie becomes a prince, with the help of a nifty spell. And, of course, as a boy, she ends up making out with another boy. As you do.

This book is the story of boys vs. girls, instead of good vs. evil. At the beginning, it seems that Agatha and Sophie aren’t completely happy with their fairy tale lesbian lifestyle. Each of them still long for something else. Agatha longs for the love of her prince, and Sophie wishes to be reunited with her long-dead mother.

Because of these wishes, their fairy tale is undone, and they are whisked back to their school which has been divided into a school for boys, and a school for girls. And each side is at war with each other. There is a bounty out for the heads of both Agatha and Sophie.

To me, this book seemed like it was forced. It was like the author couldn’t think of a follow-up book, so someone suggested this stupid idea of boys vs. girls, and he just forced it into being. Which really sucks, because the first book was awesome. It was so good, I can kind of understand the frustration in coming up with anything that would do it justice.

I really wish the author would have just left the first book alone. Just kept it a stand-alone novel, instead of forcing it into a series. But we can’t all have what we want, can we? Fuck no. So I don’t get a perfect lesbo fairy tale follow-up book. Big fucking deal.

It’s still kind of cool and funny watching the prince fall in love with boy-Sophie. When Agatha caught them kissing, the prince went all “It was an accident! I swear! I’m totally not gay, babe. Seriously. Any guy would have made the same mistake. I mean, look at this guy. He’s so hot, right? He’s nearly a girl, I swear. It’s totally not gay…” And on and on. Methinks he protests too much.

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5 of 5 Must-Read Stars – The Other Normals by Ned Vizzini.

Very cool book. Quite fun to read. It has real characters that I actually gave a fuck about. This is a rare thing, in my experience. There was romance, and sexual tension. Lots of real-world battle, not just in-game fighting.

This is the story of fifteen-year-old Peregrine “Perry” Eckert, and his obsession with a D&D type game. But the game is ripped from his hands, as he is sent to summer camp, when the real world takes on a fantasy game-like reality. Perry is dragged off, into the woods, by an odd stranger, who is most likely going to rape him. But unfortunately, instead of a rape-fest, Perry is taken to an alternate reality, where there are gnomes, and trolls, and hot elf bitches.

At this point, I really thought that Perry had just lost his fucking mind, or maybe he was in a coma, after being in a fight at camp, and this was all a coma-fueled dream. But that wasn’t the case. He was really in that other reality, having a real adventure.

And then, there was the princess. This beautiful girl, who wanted nothing more than to kiss homely Perry. Or so he thought. It turns out that she’s really an evil bitch-cunt who only lead on that she wanted to kiss him just because of a stupid summer camp dare. And, because she’s a fucking whore who needed a good bitch slapping.

I got so hooked on this book that I stayed up all night to finish it. I don’t know how to explain it, but I felt like I was IN this story. And, I’m not even a big fan of fantasy novels. But, I’m definitely a fan of this one. It really sucks that this author decided to kill himself a few years ago. He was a great storyteller.

But I digress… This is a fucking awesome book, and the princess cunt does in fact end up getting a good bitch slapping, like she deserved. And Perry no longer has a need for D&D, because the real world is much more interesting when hot elf bitches want to fuck your brains out.

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5 of 5 Badass-Chick Stars – In the End by Demitria Lunetta.

This is an awesome fucking book. Even better than the first one, In the After. In this book, there’s so much more conflict and action. It’s an unrelenting race to the end. No dull moments whatsoever.

This is the story of Amy, and her fucked up world, where the planet is overrun by monsters that people thought were aliens, but turned out to be humans that were infected by some bio-weapon that turned them into some kind of plant-like zombie monster called a Florae. They might as well be zombies, because they eat human flesh, and you turn into one if you’re bitten.

In this book, Amy has escaped from her torment at the Ward in New Hope, and is heading off to another civilized shelter called Fort Black. But that place isn’t quite as civilized as New Hope, because it used to be a prison, so it’s filled with mostly convicts. The place is brutal. When she gets there, the first thing that happens, is some ugly brute tries to rape her.

Then, she is saved by her new love interest, Jacks, which is a character completely lifted from Sons of Anarchy, I fucking swear. He’s a tattoo artist, who is covered in tatts himself. It’s not said if he was in a biker gang, I Just assumed that bit. But seriously, he’s just a sensitive badass. In this prison society, all women belong to someone. So, Jacks takes it upon himself to “own” Amy. She’s not too thrilled about this idea, but is happy to be owned if she isn’t constantly harassed by the other men.

One has to wonder how this sensitive badass, who the whole prison is afraid of, hasn’t taken himself a sex slave before this. I mean, he’s hot. He’s badass. Everyone’s scared of him. How come he doesn’t have his own bitch already? Everyone else does. Is he just a flaming homosexual? Apparently not, because he takes quite a liking to Amy. But I really do find that this is kind of a small plot hole in this story. There’s no way this guy didn’t own himself a bitch or two in that place. No fucking way.

But it’s still a great book, nonetheless. I’d highly recommend it. I mean, if you don’t like this book, there’s got to be something wrong with you. Either that, or you just can’t suspend belief enough that some hot tattooed hunk just happened to save himself for this young girl. I hear ya, man. But come on. Just give it a chance. It’s well worth the read.

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