About Me
I fucking hate books. They really piss me off. I mean, I’m always looking for good books to read. But, most of them suck donkey balls. I’m sick and fucking tired of having to sift through horseshit exposition in a book, just to find out there’s really no story. Fuck those books. I wanna burn those motherfuckers to the ground.
So, every time I come across a book that I hope is good, and it turns out to be absolute shit, I’m going to review it here. And rip it to fucking shreds. Like it deserves. And sometimes, when I find a book I truly love, I’ll gush about it here as well. Like a giddy-ass schoolgirl. Because the world needs to know that there really are good books out there, dammit.
Want to know more about me? I’m a writer. Not because I have a bunch of published books under my belt. About a year ago, I just fucking decided. I’m going to be a motherfucking writer. Because I’m so sick of books pissing me off. I’ve written about 40,000 words of my first novel, which you can read at killingeveryday.com, but it’s not finished yet.
It’s funny, because my book is probably going to suck even worse than the books I bitch about. Irony is a motherfucker.
Get my book, Glenn Hates Books Vol. 1. It’s free, with Kindle Unlimited.
Glenn Hates Books 
Thanks for follow man!! You have a way with words lol. I love it
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heh I’m glad someone noticed for once. lolz
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https://plus.google.com/u/0/?tab=XX
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I could do with your talents to write out town publicity.
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Town publicity? I don’t even know what the fuck that is. lolz
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It is a publication that entices people to visit with the use of honey coated words. Your style.
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I’ll take that as sarcasm then. lolz
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I feel we could be friends
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Then let’s be friends, goddamnit. I don’t know enough people that hate me. I find the best way to get people to hate me is be friends with them. Then, they will most certainly want to kill me. Email me at gecizzle@gmail.com
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Hi Glen, do you read true stories? Thanks.
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Sorry, Glenn. I have spelled your name incorrectly. Apologies.
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Yes, I do read true stories. I even have a non-fiction category, but I just haven’t posted any of my non-fiction reviews yet. Maybe I’ll post one today! Why do you ask? Have a non-fiction story you’d like reviewed?
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If I send you my book (give me a month or so to finish it) will you review it? I guess I’m just double checking that you are open to review anything. Is that the case?
Pete
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Yes, absolutely. Feel free to email a copy to gecizzle@gmail.com any format is fine.
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Perfect. (Mostly to keep myself honest…) I’m aiming for it to be on sale Feb 1, but I hope to get you a copy before then. Keep up the good work until then. Don’t let me down either. (It’s good, you’ll see.) Pete
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Thanks for the follow. I briefly considered sending you my novel E.A.R.T.H., but after reading your “About” page and me not being into sadomasochistic behavior, decided to leave things alone. I hope you enjoy reading the writings of a Cerebral Vascular Accident survivor. Sometimes finding words that aptly fit what the brain wants to say is a royal pain in my cranium.
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So I guess by “sadomasochistic” you mean your novel is bad? Because if it’s bad, I’d write a scathing review, as usual. But if it’s actually good, you’d get my sick version of praise. 🙂
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Thank God there’s one honest voice on the blog floor. Why is no one able to call crap a pile of shit?
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Ha! Tell me about it. All those stupid fake reviews out there really piss me off. Very few books deserve 5 stars, yet nearly every book out there has plenty of 5 star reviews on amazon and other sites. So fuck those cunts. I tell it how it is. 😛
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Thanks so much for following me!
Your blog is a fun read. I appreciate your “tell it as you see it” approach.
Joan
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Thank you. Just read your review of Into the Woods. I may have to see that movie now. 🙂
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Thanks for following “What I Watched Last Night…” I share your disgust with PR that poses as criticism. There’s nothing wrong with liking something, but there’s a lot wrong with pretending to like something just because that’s the expected reaction. Keep up the good work!
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Thanks! I will keep it up, for sure. Your taste in movies is very unique. It’s not what I expected at all. I like it. 🙂
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Thanks for the follow. Your reviews are outstanding. I love the candor. I’m not sure how to say this, but I hope you continue to find nothing good to read in 2015.
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lolz. There are no shortage of sucky books, that’s for sure. 🙂
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Just wanted to say thank you for the follow, and from what I’ve read so far, I don’t expect to be bored upon sitting down to read your reviews. 🙂
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heh. Yea, it would be hard to get bored reading my reviews. lolz 😛
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Thanks for the follow, my friend! I look forward to reading your posts!
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What is it about my haiku site that caused you to follow? Please let me know, so I can delete it immediately!
Ron
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lmao. I like poetry, okay? Is that wrong? 😛
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Hey mate, great blog! Love it. I hope to be as good as you someday…I’m mainly talking about your beard
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heh. All it takes to grow an awesome beard is being a lazy fuck. And I’m talented at being a lazy fuck. 😛
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Thanks for the follow!
– M. Mahon
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You certainly have a novel approach to book reviewing. Kevin
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Kevin? Who the fuck is Kevin? I told that fucker to be quiet. lolz 😛
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Thanks for the visit and the follow.
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Thanks for following my blog, Glenn. Now I’m totally shitting myself.
I feel like the new convict on the block when some gigantic motherfucker starts knocking his tin mug against the cell bars, chanting “fresh fish, fresh fish…”
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heh. Get it right. It’s “FRESH MEAT!” lolz
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LOL, love The Psychopath Test…you have a similar dry humour to that book too! 🙂
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Wait. There was humor in that book? I certainly couldn’t find it. lolz 😛
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Thanks for the follow. I have books out, but they might disappoint you. but still, I feel a bad review is still a push in the right direction…or a recipe for insanity…whichever comes first. Hope you enjoy the ride.
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heh. Bring on the disappointment. Just email your book to me, if you’d like a review. Check the Request a Review link up top for my email address.
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My wife will hand me a book and say, “Read this, it’s a good book.” I’ll reply, “As soon as I find a mistake, I’m putting it down.” Normally it’s within the first couple of pages. She says, “Than write you’re own darn stories.”
So I do. And guess what? It’s a pretty tough racket.
Anyway, I like your honesty. I’m prudish and don’t care for the language, but that’s you and this is me. Keep up the good writing. Thanks for venturing my way.
I came across something a famous writer said, (can’t remember who) “Life doesn’t make sense, fiction has to make sense.” He didn’t mean life as in creation, but our personal lives and the human experience, yet I’m alway looking for the stories that best define life as it is.
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I agree that writing is a tough business. I’ve been writing stories for 30 years, but never been published. As they say, ‘If you can’t do, teach’. Well, I guess if you can’t write, critique. 🙂
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Thanks for the LIKE and the FOLLOW on my blog post “The Andy Cohen Diaries: 10 Things I Didn’t Need To Know.”
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You and I would get along. I lost my innocence at Vietnam. tom Hollyday
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I lost my innocence when I met my wife. She’s a fine dirty whore, that one. 🙂
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Thanks so much for following The Write Edge! I hope it edifies and enhances your day — and despite how you feel, I’m so glad you found out you’re not, in fact, a psychopath. Too much work. :> Have a great week!
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Hi Glenn,
Thanks for all the continued support on Opher’s World. I really appreciate it.
How do you fancy reading one of my books?
Cheers
Opher
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I’d be happy to read and review one of your books. Email me a copy at gecizzle@gmail.com
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Thanks for the follow on Livritome. I’ll try to write some reviews you don’t hate!
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heheh. I don’t usually hate reviews. Unless they’re just blowing smoke up someone’s ass. Some 5 star reviews really are bullshit, you know. 😛
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This is one of the best “About Me” pages I’ve ever read – AWESOME!
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hehehehee thanks. 🙂
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Hi, just checking to make sure my book, Blue’s Point, got there, or if it did, if there was a problem with the formatting or something.
Richard
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Good thing you left a comment. Somehow, your book got shuffled into my spam folder. I found it though. I have 6 books in my queue right now for review, so it will be a couple days before I post a review of your book.
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No problem. I respect folks who go to the time and effort of writing reviews, especially honest ones.
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Hey, thanks for the follow. Interesting site!
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Thanks for the FOLLOW. Happy writing.
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Thanks for the follow, too, Glenn Hates Books. My sister warns me I shouldn’t be a hater, and probably shouldn’t associate myself with them, but your blog, at least the sampler above, is too funny (of the ha ha kind) not to love.
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heh. This blog isn’t really about hate. I don’t consider myself a ‘hater’. It’s about honesty, and integrity. And it’s about laughing your ass off. 😛
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Pure genius…
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Thanks for being one of my followers! 🙂 To show how much I appreciate you, I’ve tagged you to do the Burn, Rewrite or Reread game: https://victoriajaynesbooks.wordpress.com/2015/04/15/burn-rewrite-or-reread/
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I have nominated you for this award right here..
Go check it out! 😀
https://erichmichaels.wordpress.com/2015/05/06/i-have-been-nominated/
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Love your blog titles. Can I just ask though, do you read exceptionally quickly, or do you just have an extreme backlog of shitty books?
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Yes to both. I do read quickly, usually 1-2 books per day. And I do have a huge backlog of shitty books to review. I get submissions for review from authors several times a day.
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You are clearly a great bloke as we say in the UK, and an afternoon shooting the breeze in your company would be more than entertaining, but as an author, your reviews are entertaining but also frightening. I mean you could have scared off Picasso from painting if he was having a bad day and you looked up and said “Take that mad shit out of my garage” or whatever.
That being said, you a real breath of fresh air and so I am going to follow you of course
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Ha! A real artist doesn’t give a fuck what people think of their work. They do it because they love to do it. I’m sure Picasso would have told me to go fuck myself. And I have one of his prints up on my wall. I’m fairly certain that none of my reviews have caused an author to quit the writing gig. Writing is like an addiction. You can’t just quit.
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