Horror Stories – is quite horrific

5 of 5 Sickly-Awesome Stars – Horror Stories by  Jack Kilborn and J.A. Konrath.

This book is fucking amazing. I love horror stories, but most of the time they’re not very good. Like Stephen King books, for example. They fucking suck donkey balls. They’re not scary, or even interesting most of the time. But this book? Holy fuck-balls, Batman. It’s full of short horror stories that will totally blow your mind.

There’s a story about a man who’s obsessed with beating the world record for pull-ups. He’s so close, he can taste it. But he just can’t make it. So he loses some weight. But that still doesn’t cut it. So he has a doctor amputate his legs. Closer, but no cigar. So he has the doctor remove organs, and anything else that isn’t really needed to live. He wakes up in the hospital bed with no arms. I’m pretty sure you could hear him screaming “FUCK MY LIFE!!!!” from Mars.

Then there’s a story about some fucked-up gangsters. Some poor sap lost a card game and can’t pay up. So they give him a choice. He can either get shot in the fucking head, or he can hold his hand on the pan on the stove for ten seconds. They told him that the last guy didn’t last more than three seconds. So the guy turns on the stove and burns the living shit out of his hand for their amusement. Then the boss guy says, “You know, we never said you had to turn the burner on.” And the gangsters just laugh their fucking asses off.

There’s like twenty more stories like this in this book. They’re all fucking awesome. And each story comes with an introduction by the authors. Like how the story came together, and how impossible it was to get them published. I found those little tid-bits very interesting. But the stories themselves are what carried this book to fucking-awesome-land.

I’d recommend this book to anyone who loves horror stories, or horror movies, or anything horror. Hell, even if you’re not sure about horror and want to give it a try, check this book out. You’ll get hooked on this shit so fast. Unfortunately, you’re fucked after reading this book. Because you can’t find horror stories like this very often. So enjoy these stories while you can.

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