5 of 5 Hot-Bimbo-Bot Stars – Future Fossil by Gene Bathurst.
This is such a fun story, and I really enjoyed it. It’s a Mad Max type story, set in a similar post-apocalyptic type world, where there’s hot android bitches, and talking velociraptors. Good times.
The story is about Magnum Thrax, and his gang of hot android bitches. They scour the wasteland for precious metals to sell to the almighty sex shop. Because sex is the real currency, apparently.
Thrax and his sexy bitches travel in a high-tech tank, ready for battle. They come across a mine, and follow it deep into the mountain, where they come across sentient rocks, and talking raptors who are about to sacrifice Thrax’s buddy, and his young sister.
And of course, they’re doing the sacrifice for their god, the T-Rex. But the T-Rex can’t talk for some reason. It’s just a plain ol’ T-Rex. Nothing special about it, except that it was engineered to heal itself, and grow a new head, if need be.
Thrax and his sex-bots jump into the mix to save their friends. Hot lead and lasers light up the cavern, as Thrax tries to save his sister and his stupid friend, who’s trying to negotiate with the dumb raptors. “I can make you bigger, stronger, faster,” he says, pretending to be some genetic scientist, when in fact, he’s just a computer programmer.
Thrax’s sister argues this with Kal, saying he’s not a bloody scientist, when Kal says, “I know that, but come on… How hard could it be? I could learn that shit in a couple of weeks.” Heh. I lol’d.
Then, Thrax battles the T-Rex, and severs its head. But that’s no big deal. The T-Rex grows a new head. But not just one. Two new heads! And the chase is on. The sex-bots jump on the T-Rex and sever its two heads. Now it’s got three heads! Holy shit.
The battle continues, until one of the sex-bots jumps on top of the T-Rex, and jacks into its brain, controlling it. Fucking mind control of a T-Rex? How awesome is that? Super fucking awesome. So the sex-bot goes crazy with the T-Rex, tearing up all the stupid raptors.
Could this story get any better? It’s fucking awesome. I couldn’t find any fault in it. For such a silly story, it was very well written. It’s something my wife refers to as ‘crack’. You just take a perfectly normal story and throw some crazy shit in there. Like talking raptors, and a T-Rex with three heads. And hell, everyone loves some good crack.
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